Cuz That's What Big Sisters Do !

Since I've spent the day getting ready for our garage sale tomorrow, my husband volunteered something for the blog that he had written way back when we first got our second dog.  I have shared their goofy characteristics before but this will give you an idea of how it was in the beginning with our "sister doodles".  Enjoy!!

 

Cuz That's What Big Sisters Do !

 

The Drurys have a reputation for embellishing stories for the sake of making them more entertaining. This is a personality defect that goes back many generations. It is particularly prevalent in males.  But you have my word that this doodle tale is the truth---every word of it.

The cast of characters is small: Daisy, the 11 month old golden doodle; Maggie, the 10 week old golden doodle who had only been with us 48 hours; mom--napping in the guest bedroom at 4 PM; and me, the witness and narrator.

In anticipation of the arrival of the new puppy, my wife had selected a couple new toys---one of which is a rather flat plush skunk. It was in the 4x4 ft. exercise pen we had set up for the new arrival several days in advance along with several other toys and the new pup's blanket and feeding dishes. Daisy knew something was up but she couldn't begin to imagine what it all meant.

She learned soon enough. Friday at just about the time she should have been getting lunch she got a new little sister instead. "What the heck!?!?"

It's bad enough that Daisy hadn't been able to reach that cool new toy for the past several days---but now mom keeps giving it to that new puppy. That's just not right. And for the rest of Friday and into Saturday morning, Daisy would steal that little skunk's skunk every chance she got. But alas mom kept taking it back.

Well as things went, by Saturday afternoon Daisy was learning that the little squirt could be fun. She really wasn't too bad after all. She couldn't run very fast--but she wrestled pretty good. She even tries to play tug.

In a spirit of welcoming generosity, Sunday morning Daisy located her Snoopy and brought it to Maggie and dropped it at her feet. (And all the women say......."ooooohhhhhhh, how sweet !")

Later Sunday----probably around lunch time--- while Maggie and I were on the patio chillin', Daisy came out of the house with that skunk dangling from her teeth. She dropped it about three feet from the pup--backed up a couple feet herself---and plopped into the "let's play" position. What a good sister! She wants to play. She wants to share. What a nice sister.

By late afternoon of that third day of the new puppy week end my wife had hit the wall. She was napping on the futon in the guest bedroom. We also refer to it as the "girls' room" because we have a couple young grand-daughters who play in that room when they visit. It has a toy box filled with dress up clothes and costumes. On top of the toy box are many plush animal puppets that their grandma uses in her pre-school class. On the futon itself are a number of plush animals that were gifts from her students. These are special toys that Daisy knows not to touch (almost all the time). Daisy has quite a collection of her own plush buddies and doesn't disturb mom's menagerie. She's a good girl.

About that time, Maggie and I were in the living room; playing quietly. In trots Daisy with one of the prettiest plush doggies from mom's 'untouchable' collection---a pure white Scottie dog with a red tartan plaid cap. She goes straight to Maggie; drops it at her feet; and trots right back out of the room.

Now I know you think this next part is exaggeration--but I swear it's true.
I'm positive I heard Daisy say to Maggie---"Here Mom LOVES it when you chew on this."

Cuz that's the way big sisters roll..........

I testify that every word of this story is absolutely true.

 

Around the first week -

A few weeks later - this new little sister is a pain!!

and she is growing...

and growing...

Holy cow - she's caught up to me!

and growing...

Oh man!!!  and growing...

Wow - she's a bigun' --  Who knew?? 

 

 

 

 

Treasure

Treasure

There is a saying that goes "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."  I have found that "treasure" is in the eye of the beholder also.

Treasure, like beauty, can be anything - words, people, things, sights, sounds.  Treasure, like beauty, can be found anywhere - inside, outside, in a purse, on a curb, in a box, on a shelf, in a pocket, under a couch, in an attic, oh gosh, the places are endless.

Even animals have treasure.  Our Maggie, will drop down on all fours and stick her nose as far under the couch as she can and then frantically paw under there trying to get her treasure - an old ratty tennis ball.

My husband and I were out an about last weekend and as we turned the corner I spotted a doll house on someone's curb.  It was beautiful from a distance and it looked like it was handmade.  Of course my husband drove on by reminding me I already had 2 doll houses.  But this one was different.  It was made of wood, obviously lovingly for a daughter or granddaughter.  I had to just go see it.  When I got there, I could see that it was indeed handmade.  It needed some work, but with some creativity and a little elbow grease it could be exquisite again.  I thought to myself, who says I have to keep this doll house - it is a treasure for perhaps a little girl I know.  So I took pictures and sent them out inquiring.  This treasure was just too good to pass up.  I found a taker but the doll house wouldn't fit in my car.  So as luck would have it my son lived nearby and we plopped it into his wife's truck for safe keeping.  Soon after, we brought it to our house and unloaded it, extra pieces and all.  You see, I saw potential, I saw what could be with this dollhouse.  I saw some little girl's parents or aunty pouring love into this dollhouse to refurbish it, just like the original dad or grandpa did.  I saw a little girl spending hours playing and using her imagination.  I saw delight and joy in her eyes.  I saw a treasure.

My husband's dad passed away earlier this year and the things his dad left behind were all sent here.  These are treasures left for his children and grandchildren - old photos, his paintings, little things he saved that meant something to him.   These are treasures of a life remembered.

As I write this blog each day I am reminded of the treasure I have in my memories, the treasures I have in my family, the treasures I have in my friendships, the treasures I have all throughout my home, the treasures I find in God's Word - all things that are of value to me.

It's the weirdest thing, I am getting all emotional about "treasure".  The word is so huge!!!  It encompasses everything from the tiniest pebble or one little sequin that a child finds and asks his teacher to hold for him to God's love which is immeasurable.

Treasure is in the eye of the beholder.  What's your treasure?  Think on that and thank God -  for they are gifts.  Gifts to be treasured.


"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."  James 1:17


"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."  Luke 2:19


"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."  Matthew 6:21

Sweet Times, Sweet Sounds

Sweet Times, Sweet Sounds

Growing up, my grandmother had a piano at her apartment.  She played beautifully and so I got to tinker around on her piano every time we visited.  I always hoped one day I would have a piano.

Well, as it turned out, my husbands aunt worked for the Baldwin Piano Company.  Every employee of Baldwin was allowed to purchase one organ and one piano at cost.  Aunt Mary offered the piano purchase to us.  Oh what a joy that was - such excitement - so many plans for our kids to play piano.  Even I was going to take piano lessons. 

We lived in a little town at the time and the local piano teacher lived on a farm.  So I would take our oldest boy to the farm house for piano lessons and on the way home we would swing by the barn and buy fresh, just out of the cow, milk, cream and all.  That was very cool.  But that's another story.

Anyway after his lesson, he would come home and practice.  Each day he would practice.  We decided it was best to practice at the same time every day so because I wanted to support him and be a presence while he practiced, we chose right before dinner as practice time.  So while I was preparing dinner in the kitchen, he was practicing in the dining room and we could see each other.  I loved listening to him practice as I was busy preparing our evening meal.  He never seemed to mind this practice time either. 

I finally did take lessons, but just for a little while because mom duty and practice just didn't quite work out.  Each of our children took piano lessons and each of the children had set practice times.  For some practicing was an enjoyable time, for others not so much.  But I never tired of listening to them practice or play.

One of our children could play be ear.  Which meant he could listen and reproduce the music on the piano.  I remember the piano teacher saying she wanted him to learn to read the music.  And she was kind of  upset that he was playing by ear.  When he graduated from high school, he and his friend played a very difficult duet on the piano and every one was amazed that he had only taken lessons for a little while and it was a long, long time ago.  He just had a knack for playing the piano.  It didn't come easy though, he had to practice, practice and practice to be able to play that piece.

Each one of the children, at one time or another joined the school band.  One of our boys tried the trombone for a while and then switched to the tuba and eventually to a drum and cymbals.  Another one played trumpet.  Our daughter played flute.  And our oldest son played the Alto Sax and piano.  When the kids were growing up, our home always seemed to be filled with some kind of practicing instrument. 

To some parents the squawks and squeaks of a practicing instrument is practically painful.  To me, it was a sweet sound.  It spoke of commitment, dedication, persistence,  bravery, fearlessness, discipline, accomplishment, hard work and so much more.  And these were all qualities I admired and appreciated and was so very thankful and happy to see in my children.   And am now seeing
in my grandchildren.

Sweet times and sweet sounds - that's the life!!!

"...the music of the strings makes you glad."  Psalm 45:8b

"Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.  Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."  Ephesians 5: 19, 20

Lost

Lost

It is quite often that I have to tell people that I am "Directionally Challenged".  That is the politically correct way of saying "I can't find my way out of a paper bag".

Just the other day, I was making a delivery to an office building.  I knew I had seen this office building literally hundreds of times as I was driving down the freeway.  This gave me a little bit of confidence, but I still left way earlier than I should have needed to because I know myself.   I did my due diligence, I printed out a Map Quest, I felt fairly certain I knew where I was headed.   So with a song in my heart and a light step I hopped in the car off to meet a new client.  As I was driving and reading the Map Quest it was easy to follow, however, something seemed just a little bit "off".  But I pressed on. 

Following the Map Quest led me to downtown Oxnard.  I drove up and down the main drag looking for the address of the building.  I couldn't find it nor could I see the freeway.  Something was terribly wrong.  I pulled over and reread the Map Quest.  Sigh!!!!!  I printed one Map Quest with the address I was looking for and had accidentally also printed one to downtown Oxnard.  You guessed it - I grabbed the wrong Map Quest.  Well, what went through my head at that moment was - they say men will not pull over to get directions, I am not a man, so I am pulling over.  I pulled into what looked like a fairly nice gas station and asked the attendant which way to Solar Drive.  He pointed and gave verbal instructions. I repeated what he said and pointed.  He nodded in the affirmative.  I thanked him kindly, smiled and got back in the car.  He had told me it would be about 2 lights down.  So I counted, 1 light, 2 lights, 3 lights (Maybe he was a little off, surely he couldn't be wrong.)  4 lights, 5 lights.  "Turn around go back, you must have missed it," I say to myself.  So I do.  Nope, not there.  "Turn around and go back again, maybe he forgot to say it's off one of the side streets," I think to myself.  So I do.  Still no Solar Drive.  Sigh! again!!!

I pull into a little strip mall and decide to go into Walgreens.  There is a nice looking man in front of Walgreens so I ask him if he knows where Solar Drive is.  He looks at me not so nicely and with a wave of his hands says, "I haven't a clue where anything is."  YIKES!  He must be lost too.  I thank him and go in the store.  When I ask the clerk if she knows where Solar Drive is, she doesn't but is at least compassionate and says, "Oh, I am sorry you are lost."  Yeah, me too!!  Luckily there is a customer that overhears my inquiry and she interjects, "Oh I know where Solar Drive is - you are on  the right road but should be heading the other direction." This lovely angel sounded confident and sure and I wanted to hug her.  But I didn't and instead just touched her shoulder and said, "Thank you very much, I am so grateful."  In my head I was thinking rather cynically 'And thank you very much Mr. Gas attendant.'  

So I hop back in the car.  Did I mention this was the day it was like 102 degrees.  By this time I am sweating, my hair has lost it's spring and I am praying that I do not see my new customer but rather can just leave her product and get the heck out of there.

I follow the directions my Walgreens angel gave me and think perhaps I may have misunderstood (again) it seemed like it was taking longer than it should have, but I press on (again).  FINALLY - pay dirt - Solar Drive.  I locate the building and see it a little late so turn quickly into the parking lot cutting off a little white Toyota - sorry lady I wave! and smile!   The smile makes all the difference, you know.  I think I was afraid if I kept going I might not be able to find the building again. 

Once in the building, I locate Suite 200.  At long last, I am where I am supposed to be.  I am now an hour and 45 minutes late, but I am here.  And my prayer is answered my client was out to lunch so I leave her product pick up my envelope and head back downstairs.

Thinking it may be a long ride home, I decide to make a pit stop first.  I have two choices - to the right or to the left to look for the bathrooms.  I choose left.  Ah - there's the mens.  Keep walking, keep walking, the womens has to be close - keep walking - no women's.  So I turn around and go back - (I am very good at this turning around and going back stuff.) I reach my starting point (always a good sign) and go right - keep walking, keep walking - Ah, finally - the womens.  When I come out I really have to think hard about which way to get back to my starting point, but as luck would have it the man who was sitting in the starting point is still there and he coughs, so I follow the sound.

As I am leaving the building I ask coughing man how to get to the freeway.  He points and gives verbal directions.  I point and repeat the directions.  He nods affirmation.  (Oh no, not again?!?!) 
God is so good!!!  I decide not to follow coughing man's directions and just go back the way I came and guess what - low and behold the sign saying which way to the freeway was right there.  A couple turns and a couple blocks and I am home free.

What should have been about a 20 minute drive each way turned into a 4 hour adventure.  A friend told me once there is a verse in the Bible that says something like "God takes care of the children and the idiots."  I haven't found it yet either.  But one thing I know whether the verse is there or not, God does take care of me.   When I am on my "adventures" - He is right there with me.  He may be smiling and shaking His head at His directionally challenged child, but He is there. And so I really don't get frightened or worried.  For once I was lost, but now I am found.       
            

Running Away

Running Away

Running away is one way to get out of something.  People do it all the time.  They run away from their problems by leaving town and going on vacation.  They run away from a relationship that is not going well.  They run away from a job or a church.  They run away just to be alone and regroup, think, sort things out.  Sometimes running away is the best thing to do, but not always. 

When one of my boys was about 6 years old.  He had strep throat.  Actually his throat was a weak spot health wise for him so he got strep throat a lot.  He got it so often, I got to the point where I could tell by the look in his eyes that it was coming and sure enough in a day or two he'd be sick.  I would call the doctor and say we needed medicine and by this time the doctor trusted my knowledge of my child and he'd prescribe.

Well, the medicine was not all that yummy tasting.  And so, I had to try to disguise it.  We tried all sorts of things to make it taste better.  Where is Mary Poppins when you need her, right??  And it got harder and harder to get this child to take the medicine.  One morning it was medicine time and when I went to wake up this little guy, he was already awake and he was packing his little suitcase.  He announced to me that he was running away to go live across the street with his aunt.  She certainly wouldn't make him take that awful medicine.  So I let him.  Suitcase in hand, he walked out the door and I watched my little blonde, blue eyed boy walk 3 doors down and then across the street.

When he was safely in his aunts house, I called her and explained.  He had not told her why he was running away so being the good/devious  mom's we were, we decided to tell him he could stay with her for a little while but she would make sure to get his medicine from his mom so she could take care of him properly.  Oh man!!!!!!

My husband tells a story about a time he ran away from home.  He got up around 6 a.m. took off on his bike and rode for miles and miles.  He eventually got bored and turned around and rode back home getting home around noon.  He says no one even knew he was gone.    What was the point of that?!?

I only remember running away once and it was a biggeee!! I ran away to get married but that is a whole separate blog topic which I will share some day.

The point is, running away from an unsafe situation is always a good thing.  But sometimes running away doesn't accomplish anything, the thing you are running away from either just follows you or is still there when you get back.   Because, that's life!!

Grace, Amazing Grace

Grace, Amazing Grace

Grace is when one person forgives another.  Grace is when you give someone a second chance.  Grace is when you overlook a failure or a mistake.   Grace is having mercy on an offender.  Grace is something granted to someone that is undeserving of it.  Grace is granted unconditionally.
Grace, amazing grace.

I can remember a time when once a month I became a crazy woman.  Look out for the hurricane- - she's coming through!!!!   I slammed cabinet doors, I yelled at my kids, I spoke sarcastically to my husband, I had very little, if any, patience for messes, was more demanding than usual at work, I did a lot of complaining and pretty much in general was absolutely horrendous to be around.  And yet - there was grace - from my husband, from my children and from my co-workers.

A child comes home with a D on his report card so you talk about it, try to figure out the reason and if tutoring is needed, make those arrangements.  That's grace.

You miss a deadline for a report that's due because your child was sick and your boss says, "I understand, can I have the report in 2 days?"  That's grace.

When you get home from work you ask what's for dinner like you do every night and your wife practically takes your head off.  She's had a tough day and is taking it out on you.  So you offer to take the family out to dinner so she doesn't have to cook.  That's grace.

Grace doesn't condemn.  Grace doesn't rant and rave.  Grace doesn't sulk or pout.  Grace recognizes a problem and gives what the person needs as opposed to what the person deserves.

God in His grace recognized that mankind had a problem and the problem is sin.
God in His grace gave mankind, though undeserving, what they needed - a Savior - and His name is Jesus.

Grace, amazing grace.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."  John 3:16 

Click to hear a Celtic version of Amazing Grace with bagpipes. Beautiful.











 

Wonder Woman

Thank You, Wonder Woman

In the mid, to late '70s an amazing female superheroine came to television.  She had been in comic books since the '40s but when she made it to television she became truly famous.
Her name: Diana: Amazon warrior princess born of the gods and sent to America as Wonder Woman to fight for peace, justice, and truth.

As famous and dearly loved as Wonder Woman was on television, she was even more famous and dearly loved in our household.  My children loved Wonder Woman and they never missed an episode.  Even my husband was pretty much enamored with Diana the Amazon Princess. One day as the children and my husband sat glued to the TV watching Lynda Carter spin her sleek body around to turn herself into Wonder Woman, I very casually said, "I was supposed to be Wonder Woman you know."  Instantly, 3 heads spun around on their necks like owls and 3 pairs of eyes turned their focus to me.

"What?"  they said in unison.  With all the seriousness I could muster, I repeated my announcement, "I was supposed to be Wonder Woman."  The look of astonishment on their faces was priceless.  Seriously it could have been on a Master Card commercial.

The children wanted clarification. They fired questions like shots out of a shotgun  - "What do you mean?  How?  Really?  Are you kidding us?"  So I explained that I had auditioned for the part of Wonder Woman and it was offered to me.  Meanwhile, my husband is doing all he can to keep a straight face and look as if he is supporting and confirming everything I am saying.

"Yes", I told them, "I was offered the part of Wonder Woman but I turned it down because I wanted to be your mom more."   Once again the shotgun goes off ---  "Wow, you could of been famous." "You could of been on TV."  "We could of been rich."  "I could of got the Luke Skywalker Landspeeder."  Of course, this news could not be kept a secret, they told all their friends and all the kids in the neighborhood believed I could have been Wonder Woman on TV but turned it down to be the boy's mom. 

Sidenote - Yes, it was a little white lie - a story, if you will, but how special do you think my boys felt thinking I turned down fame and fortune to be their mom?  And that was the method to my madness.  People wondered what I was thinking telling the boys that.  I was thinking I wanted them to know how much I loved them and how special they were in a tangible way they could relate to.

This farce went on for years.  After they got older they figured out I was just letting them know how much I loved them.  Even after that though, when I was settling a sibling argument, or issuing a punishment I would still remind them that I was supposed to be Wonder Woman and that fighting for peace, justice, and truth was her/my job.  Or I might strike the Wonder Woman pose and say - "Don't make me get my lasso" when trying to determine who did or said what and the truth was not easily forthcoming.  We had loads of fun with it.  35+  years later we still laugh about it all.

As I think about that little lie I told I can't help but think that all moms are Wonder Woman.  They do so much and it is hard to keep up with it all sometimes.  Moms get tired of saying the same thing over and over.  They get tired from doing all they do.  They get tired from everything that is so much a part of being a mom.  It is a hard job.

Here's my message: It's worth it!  Hang in there!!
Count on your kids having disagreeable years.  Count on them rebelling once in a while.  Count on them doing things you may not necessarily agree with or approve of.  But also count on them coming of age and appreciating all you have done for them and realizing how much you love them. 

Following is a text I got yesterday from one of my Wonder Woman story boys:  He said, "I love you guys so much. I or anyone for that matter couldn't ask for any better parents than the ones I have!!  I appreciate everything you guys have done for me.  I don't think I could love you guys more, both of you. I'm proud to be your child, and I thank you both for who I am!"

I share this with you to give you hope if you are going through a rough time with your child(ren).  They come around & they grow out of things.

And I also share it to encourage you to find a way to make sure your kids know they are loved by you and made to feel special.

Thank You, Lynda Carter, for taking over the Wonder Woman job.  I hate to think of all I would have missed had I taken it.  (smile)

  

    

Get Smart

Get Smart

When kids are growing up, they have to learn things.  For example, we are not born knowing how to use scissors.  We are not born knowing how to ride a bike or roller skate.  We are not born knowing how to share or talk nicely to people.  Little people have to learn these things.

I can remember as a kid being reminded over and over to say please and thank you.  My mom used to call these words, "the magic words".   If I used "the magic words" I was more likely to get what I was asking for without a lot of discussion or fuss.   If I spoke nicely to my parents and my siblings life just seemed to be a lot more peaceful.

My husband and I watched a movie tonight called "August: Osage County".  The family members in this movie were horrible to each other.  Holy Cow!!  They were just plain mean!!  The oldest daughter learned this behavior from her mother, who had learned it from her mother.  It would be easy to assume that the females in this family had been behaving this way for generations.  (BTW - even though the acting in this movie was up for some awards, I wouldn't recommend it due to the language.  Another big - HOLY COW!!)  The point here being - the behavior was learned.

Skills/behaviors - whether practical or social - must be taught and learned in order to be put into practice successfully.  It's not a one time deal either.  It takes consistent reminding, consistent demanding that manners be used in all circumstances for it to finally stick. It takes consistency in talking about the right way to act for it to become second nature. 

There are lots of things children and some adults need to learn - like how to deal with anger, jealousy, friendship, gossip, money, criticism and so much more.  These are all important lessons people need to get smart about.  I call the book of Proverbs in the Bible, the Get Smart book.  In Proverbs you can find all the answers to how God wants us to deal with these everyday life issues.  You can find out how God wants us to be.

On speaking nicely to others: Proverbs 16:24 "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."

On anger: Proverbs 15:18 "A hot tempered man stirs up dissention, but a patient man calms a quarrel."

On lying: Proverbs 12:22 "The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in men who are truthful."

On criticism: Proverbs: 12:1 "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid."

The Book of Proverbs is chock full of verses that help us Get Smart.   As parents this would be a good place to look to find out what we should be teaching our children on how to behave.  As adults this is a good place to look to find out what is pleasing to the Lord.

Be honest.  Be generous. Be a wife of noble character.  Be humble.  Work hard.  Be wise.  Be truthful.  Speak gently.  Be patient.  Fear the Lord.  Be cheerful.  Be a loving friend.  Be slow to anger.  Listen to advise.  Accept instruction.  Be good.  Be kindhearted.  Be faithful.  Be loving.  Heed discipline.  Seek good.  And so on and so on.

God gave us this book - Proverbs - to find the answers on how to live life well.  Use the Get Smart book to Get Smart!! and...pass it on to your children who will pass it on to their children who will pass it on to their children....
This is very smart!!

 

Change Happens

Change Happens

It just does!  Some people embraces changes and others fight them to the death.  I guess it depends on several factors - how it is going to affect you personally, how it is going to affect someone else, and whether you agree with it or not.

I personally find some changes very hard to embrace and others I am able to just go with the flow.  I have found that the above mentioned factors dictate whether the change is embraceable for me or not.

One factor I didn't mention - and it's a big one...it is much easier to embrace a change that you have been directly involved in making.  It is so very important to get the folks that are involved on board first - before changes are made.

I'll give you an example - let's say there need to be some changes in procedures in an office setting.  "Someone" creates the new procedures without getting input from the folks that are actually doing the work.  The new procedures are then implemented and mandated.  The people in the trenches now feel like they have no value, in essence they feel their experience in doing the work counts for nothing.  And you know what happens when that change is made, the worker bees follow the new procedures but diligently look for fault in them and there is usually much grumbling and lower morale in the office.  You see, the problem isn't necessarily that a change had to be made but more in how the change was made and what words were said when the change was made.  I caution managers to be careful in how changes are made.

Changes happen all the time.  Some changes are universal - like decorating, fashion or make up trends. They are just accepted and no big deal. ( I never heard any grumbling when orange shag carpeting went out of style.)   Other changes though, hit very close to home and they cause very personal, very real heartache.  These changes are hard to accept and understand.   Be careful not to allow them to cause bitterness though.

Yes, change happens all the time and sometimes I don't like it.  There's one thing I know will never change and that's God's love for me.  This gives me great comfort in an ever changing world.

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."  Romans 13:8

God's Intentions

God's Intentions

Most everyone has heard the Bible story of Joseph and the amazing colorful coat he received from his father as a gift.  All of Joseph's brothers knew that daddy loved Joseph best.  This made for a pretty unhappy bunch of brothers.  On top of this Joseph has and relays a couple dreams that indicate Joseph's family is going to bow down and worship him.  This adds fuel to the already blazing inferno of jealousy.  So, the brothers plot to kill Joseph.  Long story short - Joseph gets thrown in a pit, gets sold into slavery, is purchased by a wealthy Egyptian Pharaoh who gives Joseph charge over his household, he was wrongly accused by the Egyptians wife, thrown in jail, then put in charge of all the prisoners, released from jail to interpret the Egyptian's dreams, then put in charge of the Egyptian's palace and all the people were to submit to Josephs orders, he was second in power only to the Egyptian Pharaoh and was now in charge of the whole land.

All the while this was happening to Joseph, the good, the bad and the ugly, the Bible says "the Lord was with Joseph."  At the end of the story, Joseph clearly acknowledges that even though all this bad stuff happened to him it was God's intent for it to work out for the good of the people of the land, for Joseph and for Joseph's family. And Joseph was totally okay with it all even as it was happening.  What faith!!  What trust!!

From this story, we can have reassurance of several things:
                            1. God is in charge
                            2. God has a plan
                            3. God's intentions are for good

When things happen in our lives that just don't seem to make sense, it causes us to wonder whose plan is really being worked - God's or man's.  If it seems like it is a man made plan - then you can still look at these three reassurances and know that God is still in charge, that His plans will prevail and override any that a man has made, and that God will work it out and turn it into good - one way or another.

Even after all Joseph went through from the plans of men ( i.e. his brothers, the slave traders, the Egyptian's wife, even the Egyptian Pharaoh) God was in it all, He had a plan and His intentions were for good.   I think we have to have faith, trust and believe that if God did this for Joseph, He will do it for us - one way or another.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."  Genesis 50:20

"You can make many plans, but the Lord's purposes will prevail."  Proverbs 19:21

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them."  Romans 8:28





    

Everything is Beautiful

Everything is Beautiful

In 1970, the year I got married, Ray Stevens wrote and sang a song called Everything is Beautiful.  This is a song about finding beauty in all things, in all people and in all situations.  It's about keeping an open mind and not judging and it's about peace.  He proclaims that everything is beautiful in it's own way.  Click here to listen to:  Everything is Beautiful  by Ray Stevens

I talked with some young people at a college campus today and shared some of my history with them going back to the 70's.  I told of a day when things were simpler.  Of a day when you knew all your neighbors and you had block parties and everyone came out and everyone shared what food they brought.  I told them of a day when there were no fences between the houses.  I shared about a day when people were kinder and more considerate of one another.  I shared about a day when we actually talked to each other and formed lasting friendships. And about a day when the kids could walk to and from school without a parent.  About a day when a penny would get you a piece of candy and a day when wages were $1.50 an hour and we were happy.  A day we could play outside all day long and not get called home till dark when my dad whistled for us and our parents weren't worried.  A day when we rode the bus and not everyone had a car.  It seems everything was so much more beautiful then.

These young people actually got dreamy eyed as I was describing those simpler days.  And they asked, "What happened?"  I have to wonder that myself sometimes.  I suppose they call it progress - new inventions, new ideas, new this, new that...is there beauty in a cell phone - yes, when it is used to make a 911 call to save a life.  But there is so much more now, it seems, that is not beautiful - or maybe we just hear about the ugliness more.  Or maybe our definition of beauty has changed over the years.

They always say things get much worse before they get better.  I dream of the day it gets better and everything once more is beautiful.   Maybe that will not be until the day I reach heaven, but I keep hoping for it sooner.   Or maybe I just need to look harder.

I think it is up to each person to try to make their own little world beautiful.  Not just for themselves, but for all those around them as well.  It's up to each person to find the beauty in everything and acknowledge it.  Everything can be beautiful again if we work together to make it so!!! 

"He has made everything beautiful in its time."  Ecclesiastes 3: 11

 

Imagine That!

Imagine That!

I heard a little saying once that went something like this - "God loves you so much if He had a refrigerator, your art work would be on it."  Imagine that!!

This past weekend, I saw something that made me so sad and it reminded me of that saying.  Each week, the kids do an art project in Sunday School.  Some of them are kind of lame, but the kids have fun with them and they add something to the lesson they have learned that day.  The teacher uses the craft to reinforce the message. 

But this past weekend was special.  It was Mother's Day so every child except the infants, also made a card for their mom.  They colored it, chose their mom's favorite color for the background, glued it together and then the child's hand was traced on the back and the date was added.   Each child's teacher talked about how much this will mean to their mom and encouraged the kids to do their best.

After services I saw one mom deposit her child's Mother's Day card and his craft in the trash can.  Imagine that!!  This about broke my heart for the child as well as the mom.  That child put time, effort and thought into the card for his mom.  I can't imagine he felt very good having mom trash it, no matter that the coloring wasn't perfect or the gluing not straight. Actually that makes it even more special - she knows he did the work.  And mom - how could you have so little regard for something your child gave you - on Mother's Day no less?  I guess that mom doesn't know that she should value and appreciate these little gifts as there will be a day that she might want to look back and remember when that little guy was young and his hand was so very small.

Now the truth of the matter is that mom's can't possibly keep every little thing their child makes, but, at least keep it and/or display it for a little while to show the child their ideas and their thoughtfulness mean something to you.  Please don't devalue your child's work and their efforts by tossing it right in front of their eyes. Think about what that says to the child...  "What I make is worthless - it's garbage!"

I had a little guy in my preschool class that never wanted to take his papers or his art work home.  When I asked why, he sadly said, "Well, my mom just throws it away."  It hurt too much to see mom throw it away, he'd rather just leave it behind.  Imagine that!!

Imagine what it feels like to have something you have worked hard on tossed aside as if it is nothing - a piece of trash.  Imagine that your manuscript is tossed in the trash by your spouse.  Imagine that your project designs are trashed by your boss.   How would you feel?  You would be crushed.  And each time you show a complete disregard for your child's efforts, so is he. 

Next time your child excitedly shares his work with you, imagine that!

"Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged."  Colossians 3:20

Below are some great ideas on how to display your child's work even if for a short time.

Work Ethic

Work Ethic

Everyone has heard the grandpa story - 'when I was a youngun', I used to walk 5 miles to school - barefoot and in the snow'…we all laugh about this and have a hard time believing it, but guess what - some of those stories were actually true.  I'd like to share my story and then tell you why I do what I do. 

I have been working regularly since I was in 8^th grade.  When I was just 12 years old, I babysat for 8 children every day after school, I made them dinner and prepared their lunches for the next day and then I cleaned up the dishes so when their mom got home she could bath them and send them to bed.   I went to work at a woman's clothing store when I was 15 - I rode the bus to and from work and my salary was $1.00 hour, plus a 20% discount on all my purchases.   For a teenage girl that was a dream come true.  I got married when I was just 17 and I am married to the same man - it's been 43 1/2 years now.  We have 4 grown children and 6 grandchildren.

Over the years I've had lots of jobs - I've been an elementary school  teacher, had an in home day care center, sold Fuller Brush and Shakley Vitamins door to door,  I had a home sewing business,  I am a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant, I was a preschool teacher, I worked in the insurance business for nearly 20 years and I have worked in Children's Ministry both as a volunteer and as a paid staff member in church for almost 40 years. 

My husband was transferred from Chicago to California in 1985 and I got my first insurance job in a mailroom of a medium sized agency in early 1986.  I worked my way up to a Personal Lines Customer Service Representative by working hard, doing my best and being loyal to my employers.  I changed insurance jobs in 1988 and went to work at a much smaller insurance agency where I also worked hard, did my best and gave 110%.  I worked closely with the owner and we grew the agency from 3 employees to 12 - my areas of responsibility grew also.  Instead of just being responsible for customer service, I was responsible for the Office Management and soon the Human Resources.   As you prove yourself loyal and trust worthy in small things, you find yourself being asked to handle bigger things.  In 1995 I went to work for a much larger insurance agency as the Office Administrator.  Over the years I did many things for that agency, proving myself as a good employee and always giving my best - coming in early, staying late, going above and beyond, doing whatever was asked of me, even doing some things that I wasn't asked to do.  You might be laughing to yourself - saying this woman is a fool - why would she work longer and harder than she had to?   Why?  It's simple - Because  the Bible tells me that whatever I do, I need to work at it with all my heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.  The Bible also tells me that I need to obey my employers and not just when he or she is looking but all the time.  That's called integrity.  That's what people call a good work ethic.

A good work ethic is what earns you respect in the work place or anywhere, even as a volunteer worker.  A good work ethic is what gets you raises and promotions in your job.  A good work ethic gives you personal satisfaction.   A person with a good work ethic is very valuable to an employer.  It's important.

I know many people that always do their best and have a good work ethic.  No matter how big or how small the task, no matter how easy or difficult, they do it with great gusto, they do it well and they finish it, right down to cleaning up after it's done.  I have a great deal of respect for these types of people.  The reason is - they have a great deal of respect for themselves.  You see, what they and I have learned is that any job done is a reflection of the person that's done the job.  If you have a good work ethic, you will do a good job and that reflects well on you!  The opposite is also true. 

It's a choice you make each time you do a job, or your homework, or a project, or anything, anywhere, anytime.  Will I give it my all or not?  The way in which you do anything is a reflection on you.  How do you want what you do to reflect on you?   It's really your choice.   


"Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right." 
                                                                             Proverbs 20:11  

"Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you  and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.  Whatever you do work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." 
                                                                            Colossians 3:22,23 







  

Mothers and Others

Mothers and Others - a poem
The author of this poem is unknown.  But this author knew a good mother.

Happy Mother's Day 2014!

A New Heart

A New Heart

When someone does something to offend you or hurt your feelings it is as if your heart has been broken.  When this happens often times it takes a long time for your hurting heart to mend and feel unhurt.  Sometimes it takes years to get over a hurt and sometimes people never do get over hurts and that's called holding a grudge.

I have found that getting a hurt heart is part of living life.  What makes the difference is what you do about the hurt heart and how you respond to it as well as how you let it affect you. 

No one is immune to hurt feelings.  God gave us our emotions and He anticipated that we would have plenty of them - highs, lows, joys, sorrows and hurts. 

I spend a lot of time with young children and they talk about difficult times they have with their friends - getting left out of a game or unkind words being spoken. You can see in their eyes that this hurts their feelings.  With children when we say - your friend will be back to play with you in a little bit or she didn't mean to hurt you - 9 out of 10 times that's true and the injured party runs off and finds a new friend. Before we know it, the two that got into the original argument are playing and having a grand old time again.  All is forgotten and forgiven.

With adults, it's not that easily forgotten or forgiven.  We seem to hold on to hurts longer.  And, we tend to tell other people our hurts rather than talking to the party that hurt us.  This is not good for the offended or the offender.   Holding on to your hurt only feeds it.  It grows and gets stronger and more powerful and eventually hardens your heart.  I think it is some sort of self-preservation.  The more you think about that hurt, the more it overtakes you and practically becomes an obsession.

I saw this in a some friends that were having marital problems.  All she talked about was what he did or didn't do.  Each time she talked about it, it was like tearing off a scab on a sore - she never allowed the hurt to heal. 

Likewise, for the offender not to be confronted is a disservice to the offender.  Perhaps they are oblivious to how their words or actions hurt the other party.  It is only fair to at least give them the information so they can either explain or have the opportunity to change their ways.

Can you see how this causes hearts to become hard and unforgiving?  There is something to be said for having an attention span of about 15 minutes when matters of hurt hearts are concerned.   When people ask how I've stayed married for 43 years, I tell them two things: 1. It's work worth doing.  2. I am forgetful.   You see, like I said, having your feelings hurt is part of life and it's part of married life, too.  But if you are forgetful, the hurt feelings don't stick around very long.  You just get over it and move on or you deal with it, get over it and move on.  Once it's forgotten, it's automatically forgiven.  It's as if it doesn't exist any more.

At any rate, once your heart has been hurt, it can heal, it can be new again by forgetting and forgiving.  You don't want it to get hard and bitter.  There is no beauty in that.  A soft new heart is one that is beautiful.  It is kind, loving and forgiving and God can help you with that.

" I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.  And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws." 
Ezekiel 36: 26 & 27 

            

 

If You're Happy and You Know It

If You're Happy and You Know It

This is an old, old song that is sung by all ages in all arenas and can and has been altered over and over to suit a theme or an activity or an audience.  From what I read online it dates back to the 1900's and it is a take on an even older Latvian folk song.  (Latvia is near Russia - who knew????)  It's been used in commercials, movies and even at ballgames.  It truly is a classic.  For those of you not familiar with the song (I'm shocked!) but, to each verse you add an action - for example, If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands  or If you're happy and you know it, stomp your feet or a really fun one, If you're happy and you know it, spin around.  In this song you can shout and hoot and holler and jump and twirl - just about anything.  The song continues on to say, If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it.  So, so true. 

I sang this song in school growing up and in Girl Scouts and then in my preschool and Sunday School classrooms.  I've even used it as an ice breaker in meetings.  It transcends the age barrier.  Today's blog, however is not necessarily about "the song" and it's history it is more about the words and the message.

Have you ever seen a person - let's say a retail clerk in a store - and you were actually afraid to go up to them and ask for help?  The reason - their face didn't say - "Come ask me a question, I want to help you because I really like my job."  No, their face said - "Don't even think about asking me a question because I don't care that you need help, I don't want to help you and I hate this lousy job!"  Oh my, I have and that is so sad to me.

If a person is happy in what they are doing it is going to show on their face.  If they are happy in what they are doing, they are going to put forth an effort to do their best.  If they are happy in what they are doing, they will be clapping their hands and shouting out loud and spinning around, so to speak. 

I was in a teacher's lounge in a school yesterday and I would have to say that 98% of the teachers in that room were happy in what they were doing - teaching.  I could see it in their faces. 

Here's my idea - if you are not happy in what you are doing, you probably shouldn't be doing it for your own sake and for the sake of the people you serve, your co-workers and your employer.  God intended each of us for a purpose.  When you find that purpose and do it, you will be happy and you will know it and your face will surely show it.  Everyone wins!!

So, if you are not happy in your job, find another one.  And if you are happy in your job, clap and shout and spin around and say AMEN!!!! and thank God for His wonderful gift.

"I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.  That everyone may eat drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil -- this is the gift of God."  
                                                                                                         Ecclesiastes 3: 12 & 13

 

Just Helping!

Just Helping!

When I was growing up, my dad traveled out of town usually one week a month for business.  This left my mom alone with 3 small kids one week out of every month.  I was the oldest, and I have a brother that is 3 years younger than me and another brother that is 4 years younger than me.  So as you can imagine, my mom had her hands full.

A little more background to add to the story, she didn't drive.  So when my dad was gone and even sometimes when he wasn't gone, she would pile my two little brothers in the wagon and the 4 of us would walk to the grocery store.  We didn't live in a place like sunny California where it never rains, no, we lived in Chicago.   So rain, snow, heat, wind, whatever the weather we plodded to the store on foot as needed.  If we needed to go to the doctor, she'd walk and/or carry the littlest of us all to the bus stop and we'd take the bus to the doctors office.   We walked or took the bus everywhere.

To add even a tad bit more to her story, when we got a little older and were in school, she worked full time.  Oh, and to add a little additional income to the household budget, she took typing jobs and would type (on a typewriter) into the wee hours of the night while sitting at our kitchen table. 

Needless to say, her life was not easy.  But she never complained.  She did what she needed to do.  She was what I would consider a super mom of her day!

She was patient and kind and loving but had some stress before stress was a household word.  Kids in the best and easiest of circumstances can be trying.  We were no different.  We were kids.  And all parents get mad at their kids once in a while.  Well, that day came.  One of the boys, did something, I don't remember what t was, though she does, I'm sure.  I imagine it was my middle brother (don't hate me if I'm wrong brother)  and mom got really mad.  Like really, really fed up, outrageously, I'm done, I've had enough, mad. 

She was fuming and recognized that she might actually be so mad she would lose control so she shouted at us - "That's it, I'm leaving!"  We were all crying and carrying on because mom was leaving.   Mom, headed toward the basement door and just as she reached the door to go down to the basement, she hears a little tiny squeaky teary eyed voice from my youngest brother that says, "I'll get your suitcase!" 

That about did her in!!!  She was not amused.  After that, she was down in the basement for a long time, probably counting to like a million.  Counting to 10 just would not do it this time.  She was just leaving to go calm down in the basement, but to a kids ears she was leaving for good.  And sweet thing that he was, he was just helping.

Mom's have a lot on their plates and I don't mean food.  I mean in life.  This is a funny family story and we share a good hearty laugh every time we talk about it.   Mom laughs even harder than we do!!   But there is a lesson here, too, for moms and for kids.

My mom spent every moment on others - her kids, her husband, her parents, her girl scout troop, her employers, her church - always others.  She needed time for herself and she didn't get that.  So the lesson for mom's, take time for yourself, even if it is just going in the basement and reading a book or counting to a million.

The lesson for kids, recognize that mom needs help sometimes. Clean your room without her asking, offer to do the dishes, leave her alone for a minute, ask dad to help you find your school book - he has eyes, too! 

Mother's Day is coming up - now's the time - make her feel special, make her know you love and appreciate her.  One year my kids asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day and I told them, I wanted a day all to myself.  They obliged and it was heaven!!  Not that I didn't love them, but I just needed to reconnect with myself and be me - not someone's mom.  Mom's need that once in a while.  And moms - it is okay to need it.

                                     My  Mom on her 85th Birthday!!  Mom, you're the Best!!!

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

^10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

 

                                                               Proverbs 31: 10 - 31

Teacher Appreciation Week

Teacher Appreciation Week

Believe me, I speak from experience when I say, "teachers deserve a whole week of being appreciated."  Their work is endless and typically they are thinking about their students every waking hour and sometimes even in the non-awake hours.  Their day starts early in the morning and even though the school day is over around 3:00, they go home and grade papers, or cut projects, or plan for the next week, or think up fun new ways to teach a concept and then make whatever they need to do it.  All for their students.  Teachers are committed to their students - your sons and daughters.

I got this little poem on a gift from one of my students last year.  The author was listed as Unknown, but this author knew a teacher.

God took one pair of angels wings,

And patience without measure,

Two eyes that see potential,

Great wisdom from his treasure,

A smile to give encouragement -

A truly heavenly feature,

He wrapped it up with tender care,

And called this gift a "Teacher."    

I can remember my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Flannagan, and how influential she was in my life.  She was the one that taught me to love books.  She was the one that taught me to love writing.  She was the one that made me want to be a teacher.  I used to have a saying posted in my own preschool classroom that said, "It's the teacher that makes the difference in a classroom."  Mrs. Flanagan did!  She made a difference.

I have recently been invited to my fourth grade students 30 year reunion from high school.  It has been so much fun communicating with them.  The things they remember...amazing.  And I remember each one of them with such fondness nearly 40 years later.  Back then there wasn't a special week to honor teachers, I am so glad there is now.

 

Parents have no way of knowing how much time a teacher spends outside of the classroom on preparing lessons. Parents don't know how much of their own money teachers spend for the betterment of their class.  Parents don't know how many hours a teacher spends trying to figure out how to help a student who is having trouble with a subject.  So I am telling you, it is hours and hours and hours and hours! I encourage you, please show appreciation to your child's teacher this week with a thank you note or a gift card or even flowers or all of the above. As I said already, "They deserve it!!"

You can google "Teacher Appreciation ideas" to get some wonderful poems and gift ideas to help you say Thank You to a teacher.  And don't forget the Volunteer Sunday School Teachers, too! 

"It was He who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service so that the body of Christ may be built up..."  Ephesians 4: 11, 12

"And in the church, God has appointed first of all, apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kind of tongues."   I Corinthians 12: 28